Saturday, January 22, 2011

You of Little Faith

I often still feel like I have just begun the journey of learning to serve like Jesus.  Because I am human there are too many times I still desire recognition for my sacrifices, I still crave a reward for my selfless attitude, I still fail to truly understand my own salvation and the grace that secures it.  You would think it would be easier to follow the example of your Lord, your Father and your Redeemer, but it is about the most difficult thing a person can do because it means dying to one's self which just is not, ironically, how we were designed.  God designed us to have choice which automatically seemed to mean we would always choose our self.  Even in paradise, the Garden of Eden, Eve and Adam could not resist the temptation of becoming more like God even if it meant disobeying Him in the process.  We are so sinful ...

©2006-2011 ~imanwatts
But there is redemption, and while I have spent most of my Christian life misguided, I feel that in the last two years I have begun to truly understand the Gospel the way Jesus' desired.  He made it so simple, but I have been blinded by myself and my wants and my plans.  I have been lured into the world's notions and philosophies, and I have forgotten the very premise of my faith:
25 "For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life,
as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body,
as to what you will put on.
Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
26 "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not worth much more than they?

 27 "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?

 28 "And why are you worried about clothing?
Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,
 29yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory
clothed himself like one of these.

 30 "But if God so clothes the grass of the field,
which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace,
 will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
31 "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?'
or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'
 32 "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things;
for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
33 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness,
and all these things will be added to you.
 34 "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own
Matthew 6:25-34

"You of little faith," that is what my Savior calls me because He knows my heart well.  Luckily He did not stop at reminding me how little faith I have in His sovereignty, He sacrificed everything to show me that His will was good and perfect, and if I could find a way to get over myself, my eyes would be opened.

His desire was for me to follow Him and feed His sheep (John 21).

It seems so simple, so I began trying to understand where I was failing, where my family was failing, where the Church was failing. I was shocked to learn that I was failing not because my intentions were not good, but because they were not of God.

They were not Biblical or purposeful for advancing the Kingdom of Heaven.

They were still selfish and were still all about me.

Coming to this point in my walk was painful and a little bit paralyzing.  I had spent years of my Christian life headed in the wrong direction.  You of little faith ...

My redemption came upon realizing that even in my confusion, God is sovereign.  First Corinthians 13:12 reminds me, "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

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