Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Silence is Golden

‎A.W. Tozer once prayed, "Lord teach me to listen. The times are noisy and my ears are weary with the thousand raucous sounds which continuously assault them. Give me the spirit of the boy Samuel when he said to Thee, 'Speak, for thy servant heareth.'"  And Oswald Chambers reminds us to " ... make room for God to come in as He chooses.  Expect Him to come, but do not expect Him only in a certain way."

Silent is Golden by juwet ©2010-2011

These great teachers really spoke to my heart with the truth behind their message.  I am a planner, and while I like to think I plan under divine inspiration, it would probably be more truthful to say that I consult God only after I have made a decision to do something.

I am sure you've never done that before, like a kid asking mom for a piece of candy all the while holding a Hershey's Kiss behind their back?

My first problem is that I am a poor listener, and "poor" is probably being generous.  Even before I became a full-time mommy to four wonderful children, I had trouble just being still and listening to and waiting on God.  This is probably because I am also impatient.  I am, after all, the product of a culture that dishes out instant gratification like it's something we're all due; I fail to remember the part where Jesus has freed me from bondage and transformed me into a new creation.

One of my goals this year is to start spending at least five minutes a day completely still and completely silent before the Lord.  I usually do it after I have worked out so that I'm awake and before the kids get up so that my house can be completely silent too.

I know and trust that God has already prepared a way for me in this life, and I would like to stop living as though I'm completely aware of what that plan is already.  It has occurred to me that the reason so little has been revealed to me is because that is about all God is ready to entrust me with at this point in my life.  He knows my heart and my tendency to plan and make lists, so He typically only reveals one step at a time so that I cannot argue or deviate from His pathway.

I desire so much to change, and I know that God is capable of turning me into a woman who is quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19).  As I spend my five minutes in utter stillness before Him each morning, it is my prayer that He will refine me.  Perhaps that is why He has already entrusted me with four young, curious and question-filled children!

He is good, and His ways are perfect.  Just in the last month, as I have physically practiced the art of patience with my little ones, God has been faithful to show fruit in all of our hearts:
Yesterday, the mailman delivered our mail to our door because the snow was blocking our mailbox, leaving it out of arm's reach without trudging hip-deep into snow.  My son heard the knock on the door and immediately let himself and Grace, our 21-month-old, outside.  I start chasing the kids down our driveway knowing that I will not be able to catch Caleb because he got too good of a head start.  I grabbed Grace, who is quite a bit slower, and headed back to the house, leaving Caleb in front of our neighbor's house.  To my surprise, he quickly followed us back inside, racing in on my heels.  Before I could even open my mouth to scold him, he wrapped his arms around my thigh and apologized for disobeying.  I was beside myself.

God is faithful, and we won't miss it if, like Chambers recommends, we not only leave room for God but expect Him to come.

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